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Part II of Rainbow Men Like ‘Em Skinny: Share the Secrets of Your Weight Loss Success!!

June 29, 2010

Okay.  So I’m determined NOT to let this blog be another navel-gazing site about how BW should be this, act like that, blah blah blah with no REAL solutions.  I hate hand wringing and inertia.  First and foremost, BB&W is a support group to exchange and benefit from ideas and sage advice from women who have “been there, done that.”

Normally on Wednesdays I reserve a “Question of the Week,” but due to the huge response of yesterday’s post, I thought it would be best to stop debating and start deliberating on how we can all get to our fittest and healthiest.  Let’s use today to exchange ideas on what has worked to help drop the fat.  Who’s going to start?  OOOOooo, me!  I’ll go first!

I’m 5’2.  I weigh 131 pounds, but most of it is muscle.  My biggest problem is my midsection, which is especially bad, because subcutaneous fat in this area can lead to diabetes, heart disease and cancer.  It’s an ongoing battle for me because I have a genetic predisposition to what I like to call, “Biggin-ism.”  I come from a family of Biggins, and I see what they go through–the medications, limitations, etc. and I’m determined to not let that be me.  Because I am the mother of four children, going to the gym is the biggest pain in the ass imaginable.  So I opt for Barry’s Bootcamp (fyi, Barry’s not paying me, but he sure the heck should be as much as I’m plugging him!).  I like BBC because it is a 21 minute workout with an option to do additional 10-minute workout on isolated areas such as abs, lower body and upper body.  WARNING: The first time you try it, you just might throw your guts up.  It gets a little easier after a week or two.

One other thing you need to know about me…I hate (most) vegetables, unless it’s sweet potato pie.  Fruits? Meh.  But I do like a smoothie.  So I invested $299 and bought a Vitamix blender, which can pulverize a whole apple, core and all, into smithereens.  I make at least two smoothies a day, containing anything from kale, strawberries, peaches, bananas, spinach, carrots, celery, whatever, and drink it.  I also add protein, vitamin powder and Green Vibrance, which I HIGHLY recommend.  It gives me energy, stamina, helps with concentration (I am a self-diagnosed ADD) and makes your skin look gaw-geous.  If you’re skeptical, just take a look at the reviews.  It makes 80-year-olds get up out of their wheelchairs and do the Cabbage Patch.

Then I eat a regular dinner–fat, calories and all–with the family in the evening.  I have four kids on the slim side, so feeding them any Cooking Light recipes might get me reported to Child Services.

So….I’ve been doing this regimen since January, and have gone from 143 (gasp!) to 131.  I wear a size 4, and now look like I did the day I got married.  Maybe better.

I'm not a skeleton, but you can call me "skinny" and I'll take it!

So now it’s your turn.  Share your fitness regimens, along with a link to a picture if you like.  If we work really hard, we can put all those skinny bitches to shame! *insert snicker here* (Janice, I see you; I’m looking at you and I know you’re mad at me for using that word!)

Get Over It! Rainbow Men Like Their Women Skinny!

June 28, 2010

Rainbow men, that is, non-black guys of varying hues, tend to prefer a svelte physique.  Now before you get all huffy about having to give up your daily donuts, deep-fried Twinkies and 500-calorie mochachocalattechai (and then try to be all, “no whip cream!” about it), just hear me out.

Both sexes do all sorts of things to attract the opposite sex.  Do you skip a shower before a date?  Fart during a movie with your guy?  If you do, you need more help than what this blog can give you!

For the sake of this argument, let’s break down what black men tend to find attractive: small waist with a big ‘ol stripper booty:

Many Black Men's Ideal Figure*

BUTT!  Most of the time, a little “junk in the trunk,” often means junk in the thighs, rubbish on the arms, and a land fill on the belly.  Black men find this attractive, so many black women who want to attract those men work (or not) to increase their desirability.  A few years ago a study came out that suggested black women were much more comfortable with their body image than their white female counterparts.  Despite 78 percent of us being overweight according to the American Obesity Association, apparently it’s all good.  You know why?  C’mon guess.  BECAUSE BLACK MEN FIND BOOTY MEAT ATTRACTIVE!

Conversely, white women (as well as other nationalities  besides, perhaps, Hispanics) are VERY weight conscious.  That same study showed that a large percentage of white women were unhappy with their weight.  Just a guess, but I’ll bet the farm it’s because white men tend to prefer a body type like this:

I don't care what color you are, that body is healthy and hawt!

So, it looks like both black women and white women tie their feelings about body image according to what the men of that race prefer.

I remember talking to someone at a mall I worked that was predominately frequented by African Americans.  My co-worker, who was young, small-waisted and a butt that looked like two basketballs fighting for space in her spandex, often told me that she was willing to do some exercises, but her boyfriend warned her not to do anything that would reduce her ass size.  She was happy to accomodate him.

So then, why are so many black women bent out of shape when rainbow men express their preference for thin women, in word and deed?  Why the resistance to accomodate them if we want to attract them?

On a post yesterday regarding the best/worst places in the world to have an interracial relationship, Ali went a little off topic to discuss how a friend of hers thought NYC was not conductive to her interracial dating prospects:

“This prob. belongs under another post, but I have a cousin who says NYC is bad for bw/wm interracial dating! NYC! The reason is, she’s never been asked out by a white guy. When I tell her I have, lots of times, she says – oh, you’ve just been lucky . . . . .What I’ve failed to mention is this – she’s nearly 250 POUNDS! And yet that doesn’t occur to her that that’s the problem. She blames her lack of interracial dates on her race – she says it’s because white guys are racist!”

For me, exercise and I go through stages. I get really gung-ho and then after a while I give the whole thing a heave-ho. But as I grow older I realize the necessity of being consistent with working out, because I have an almost irrational fear of arms that flap like wings while waving in a tank top. But money is tight and the gym is just a little too far, and frankly, I don’t see the point in having shower, brush my teeth and comb my hair to only become disheveled in some frenetic Tai Bo-hip hop-kick boxing-thingamajig workout class. So that’s why I do Barry’s Boot Camp and drink my fruits and vegetables with the help of my Vita Mix.  And you know what?  I’ll be working on keeping my body fit and healthy, first, because I don’t want to get diabetes like my mother, take high blood pressure pills like my dad did, and frankly, shopping at Lane Bryant will never turn me on no matter how cute they make those fat dummies look in their clothes!  And finally, I’ll do it because I know my husband likes me that way, and I love him and want to be desirable to him as he wishes to stay desirable to me, which is why Hair Club For Men will get a new client if his hairline recedes one more centimeter!  🙂

Now, I realize that I may have ruffled some feathers with this post, but ladies, we MUST face the truth, stop making excuses, and get ourselves fit, happy, sexy and healthy.  And if a rainbow man thinks you’re hot after all that effort, then all the better.

Janice on, “Where in the World?” The Best (and worst) Places to Have an Interracial Relationship

June 27, 2010

The Best and Worst Places to Get Your Swirl On

Living on the West Coast with all its liberal ideals and live-and-let-live attitudes is a great place for interracial and intercultural couples to thrive. Seattle and San Francisco are perpetually on the top of any list that tracks this sort of data – and my hometown, the wonderful City of Angels, is usually in the mix, too.  (Yeah L.A.!)

If you’re swirling, though, it’s probably best to keep your booty out of Detroit, Atlanta, Birmingham or New Orleans which aren’t as embracing of the whole relational melting pot idea.

But did you know Denver, CO and Minneapolis, MN are also hubs where mixed couples and their families flourish? Well, surprise surprise! They are indeed just two of the towns at the top of the most recent poll by Interrace Magazine which has been surveying its readers on the subject for over a decade.

So for those of you who are still in the market for a mate – or couples looking to move away from prying or unwelcoming eyes – here is a highlight of three of those top ten cities that embrace blended couples. Can’t afford to move? Well maybe it’s time you took a trip. (You know you’re so due for a vacation anyway.)

Minneapolis, MN The Twin Cities is not only one of the friendliest to interracial couples, but it’s also one of the fittest. Ranked third in each of two new national surveys—one on physical fitness and one on quality of life, the Minneapolis metropolitan area metro area boasts a high number of people who are involved in regular physical activity or exercise as well as the number of people in excellent or very good health. For those of you job hunting, Minneapolis has a low unemployment rate and loads of available parkland, recreation centers and physical education classes. And with ready access to golf courses, bike and walking paths, park facilities, and dog parks, it makes for a great place note only to live with a mate – but to find one.

San Diego, CA The Southernmost city in the Golden State, San Diego is a city that believes in community as a vital part of one’s quality of life in the region. Continuing its move toward a Clean Generation, the city provides programs offering financial incentives for renewable energy as well as energy efficiency and water conservation improvements by its residents. Already a national leader in solar energy, “green” home improvements in the city will not only has the potential to save money for countless homeowners, but will create jobs for those who live there. It’s a win-win for those who are looking for little economic stability in a city and environmental consciousness to go along with their swirl.

Honolulu, HI The 13th largest city in the nation in the middle of the Pacific Ocean where President Barack Obama once called home is a bastion of culture and art, be it in their museums and concert halls to the urban hubs which have been embraced by the Hollywood television and film communities. Hawaii’s economic base is primarily tourism and the city uses its cultural and artistic diversity to draw visitors into their eclectic ethnic mix that draws on Native Hawaiian traditions as well as the tremendous contributions of the Filipino, Chinese, Portuguese, Scottish, Greek, Okinawan and Samoan communities. Considered one of the world’s top 10 most livable cities, Honolulu has fashioned its culture and arts and a leading factor in building “strong cities (and) strong families for a strong America.” That, and it’s a great place to get lei’d.  Now that sounds like paradise to me.

Now we want to hear from you!  Where are the best (and worst) places (cities, states, counties) that you’d recommend and/or dissuade other interracial couples from migrating to?

ALERT: Karyn Folan and I must have some psychic voodoo magic, because she wrote a very good piece on this subject.  Take a look.

See, it can work!

June 27, 2010

Okay, thanks to Barry’s Boot Camp and Vita Mix, I managed to get in shape for this trip and look like this:

Hubby wouldn't do full shot b/c he knew I was putting this on the blog! hee hee

This shot was taken right before water aerobics.  Which was fun, but a bit distracting since the instructor looked like she was time transported from a Jane Fonda video.  I half expected her to jump in the water with leggings on.

Band Camp WTI has been a ball so far.  It’s crazy good how our hodge podge of a family works so well, and there’s real love between us.  It truly is a testament that you can, with love and patience, overcome differences, find common ground, and bond across racial and intercultural lines.

Tonight we have some MAJOR excitement going on after dinner–a 27-foot slide, which I’M TOTALLY ON IT!, a rock climbing wall (I’ll do it if my back holds up and I’ve had enough to drink), and a movie on the lake.

I’m really hoping that at some point, me and the hubby can go on a urhm…”nature walk” later…STOP THAT PEARL CLUTCHING!  I like watching…squirrels.

Anyhoo, here’s a little photo montage I thought you’d like, just click on the link below.

And don’t think that because I’m on vacation, I’m slacking!  Here’s what’s coming up next week on Beyond Black & White:

–“Where in the World?” Janice gives a partial list of the best (and worst) places to carry on an interracial relationship.  We’re also counting on you to chime in on how your neck of the wood fares in this department!

–“White Guys Like ‘Em Skinny”: We’re going to discuss the oh-so-touchy issue of weight and fitness as it relates to health and attracting an interracial and/or intercultural mate.

–I’m writing a pretty serious post on CW’s site called, “No Wedding, No Womb!”  That should get vewy vewy in-ter-est-ing.

–Question of the Week: Deborrah Cooper will chime in on one readers angst about approaching a non-black college boy who stares the begeezus out of her but won’t ask her out.

And that’s just some of it, so get your notebooks out and pay attention!

Day One of Band Camp WTI: A Video Diary

June 26, 2010

Welp we made it to Band Camp without the Instruments (henseforth named BCWTI).  It took 2.5 hours AFTER a five-hour flight, but it was pretty scenic.  I sat with the baby in the back seat like Ms. Daisy.  I saw so much green it would have put a leprechaun to shame.  I was raised in the desert, so trees that grow like tumbleweeds without any special treatment or interventions–sprinklers, fertilizer, occasional B-12 shots–is fascinating to me.

The baby, on the other hand, was not as excited as I was about the drive.  She HATES extended time in the car seat, so I had to smuggle her out of it to breastfeed her whilst covering her with a blanket for fear of The Fuzz.  She moved around so much under there it reminded me of that Tom & Jerry episode when Jerry (the mouse) rescued a bag of newborn kittens from drowning in a lake.

She drank some, but she mainly just wanted to play.  Zurberts and light nipple biting is where I draw the line, so back in the car seat she went.

But…Emmma tends to pass gas when she’s upset, so let’s just say everyone in the car knew how FARTING MAD she was that I put her back.  But amateur comedian that I am, I managed to make her laugh despite herself. She cry/laughs when I do this. I like to call this maniacal sound the ‘craff.’  So hubby advised me to make her craff just little bit longer.  We only had 30 more miles to go.  Sigh.

UPDATE: We made it!  Check out my video diary

Friday Funny: Gargoyles, an Act of God?

June 24, 2010

I wrote this little ditty a while back. But I thought with all the church talk going on around here, it seemed somewhat apropos.

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Gargoyle of Notre Dame, Paris

I am sorry to report that most people in the world are not smart.  I mean, just look at Sarah Palin.

I would like to think that as a creative person, I have somehow been able to separate myself from the unwashed dumbos, but that’s really not the case. My gene pool is swimming with the intellectually challenged.

For example, I had a conversation with someone in my family (I won’t name names, but let’s just say she and I shared a womb once, and I love her like a mother) about gargoyles.

Womb Sharer was looking through my 12 year old’s science book and came across the gargoyles of Notre Dame. ( As an aside, let me just say that those guys are in desperate need of some serious body re-sculpting.) But anyways. She’s looking through the book and reads aloud about erosion. “The meh-can-i-caaal process of wearing or grinding something down,” she says.

And then she points to the gargoyles.

What I’m about to say actually happened.

I did not make this up.

“Chris, look at erosion! Look what God did!”

I walk over, curious. She says again, “Look at the gargoyles, see the erosion?”

I look at the photo. No big deal. I tell her so, she looks at first a bit nonplussed, then annoyed. “Well, I guess it takes a lot more to impress YOU, miss smarty pants!”

I give her a what’s-the-big-deal look, but then it comes to me. She thinks GOD formed the gargoyles from erosion. It never occurred to her that the picture of the gargoyles reflect the damage caused by erosion.

Oh my. The Womb Sharer thinks God made gargoyles. I give her a long, sad look. She suddenly realizes how silly a thought that was and makes me SWEAR not to tell the hubster.  I tell her that’s not fair, and isn’t there some Bible verse that says I’m not supposed to listen to you anymore once I’m married?  Then she says, “You’re always trying to make me look bad!”

“Really? I make you look bad?”

The Idiot’s Guide to Gaslighting

June 24, 2010

Psychological Definition from the Urban Dictionary:

A form of intimidation or psychological abuse, sometimes called Ambient Abuse where false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory, perception and quite often, their sanity. The classic example of gaslighting is to switch something around on someone that you know they’re sure to notice, but then deny knowing anything about it, and to explain that they “must be imagining things” when they challenge these changes. A more psychological definition of gaslighting is “an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim – having the gradual effect of making them anxious, confused, and less able to trust their own memory and perception.

Eddie Murphy’s Rendition:

Pass this along to all the single ladies you know that have “I SUPPORT MY BLACK KINGS WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATIONS OF RECIPROCITY!” stickers plastered on their foreheads.  Then, let the healing begin.