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Happy Loving Day!

June 11, 2010

The day after I married my white husband, I was elated of course, but I soon felt…what? not fear exactly, more circumspection. On April 27, 2002, I would–until death did I part–be the red dot on the white paper, the dandelion on the otherwise pristine lawn.  Shares. Whispers.  Party invitations ‘lost’ in the mail.

What makes you buck against the herd, go sideways or zig zagged when everyone else goes straight?  I believe with all my heart that it’s the inexorable force of love.  It is the tie that binds us; it makes us brave.  All who dare to love, partner or marry someone from another race, we forthwith become decendants of Mildred and Richard Loving.

And when I think about what they did during those ararchic days of the 1960’s, when the world was turned on its head, I feel almost reverential.  Then I feel a little ashamed about balking over the Lilliputian inconvenience of always being noticed.  Not when the Lovings faced the brazen spit-in-your-face kind of scorn. Despite the jeers, the threats, the fear, it was the love– and how befitting their name– that ultimately overcame.

So what’s a little uninvited attention when you think about what that couple went through?  Where would I be today without the Lovings? Perhaps, love-less.

So I say to the world: Go ahead and stare!  Take a good look at LOVE.

Here's to you, Richard and Mildred!

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10 Comments leave one →
  1. kaikou permalink
    June 12, 2010 3:09 am

    Thanks for sharing your love and life.

  2. randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
    June 12, 2010 7:27 am

    Thanks for visiting!

  3. June 12, 2010 5:48 pm

    I love this piece!

    Beautiful photo!

  4. randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
    June 12, 2010 6:34 pm

    JamericanSpice :

    I love this piece!

    Beautiful photo!

    Thank you!

  5. lafemmenoir permalink
    June 12, 2010 11:54 pm

    In all aspects of life we should pay homage to those that came before us, especially when the price our antecedents paid was so steep. It pains me to know that they were not able to grow old together, but I rejoice in the fact that they were able to come out of the closet with their love, legally, anyhow. Legality, doesn’t trump love. Love is enduring. Love is visceral, a gut reaction, which can’t be explained away or locked in a box. It can’t be planned for or scheduled in. It can’t be written out of law or sent away up north. It just is. It just happens, even when you weren’t looking for it or expecting it. Love, just like our attraction to who we fall in love with, can’t be controlled or reigned in, no matter how hard we,or others may try.

    So when others stare, ridicule, threaten, or even disown; smile. The Lovings already took care of the hard part, so that you could love whomever you choose, based on whatever law of attraction your brain and viscera have chosen for you. The Loving’s carried that weight so that you wouldn’t have to. Thank them by honoring them.

    ***I hope that everyone had a wonderful Loving Day.***

  6. randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
    June 13, 2010 12:05 am

    lafemmenoir :

    In all aspects of life we should pay homage to those that came before us, especially when the price our antecedents paid was so steep. It pains me to know that they were not able to grow old together, but I rejoice in the fact that they were able to come out of the closet with their love, legally, anyhow. Legality, doesn’t trump love. Love is enduring. Love is visceral, a gut reaction, which can’t be explained away or locked in a box. It can’t be planned for or scheduled in. It can’t be written out of law or sent away up north. It just is. It just happens, even when you weren’t looking for it or expecting it. Love, just like our attraction to who we fall in love with, can’t be controlled or reigned in, no matter how hard we,or others may try.

    So when others stare, ridicule, threaten, or even disown; smile. The Lovings already took care of the hard part, so that you could love whomever you choose, based on whatever law of attraction your brain and viscera have chosen for you. The Loving’s carried that weight so that you wouldn’t have to. Thank them by honoring them.

    ***I hope that everyone had a wonderful Loving Day.***

    Lafemm, that was beautiful. Well said!

  7. June 13, 2010 12:35 pm

    Cute photo, happy Loving Day.
    I can’t say that I’ve experienced more than the disapproval of a few random strangers and insignificant acquaintances, but I know my experience is not universal.

    • randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
      June 13, 2010 12:38 pm

      Happy be-lated Loving Day to you too! That’s good that you have not had much push back about your interracial relationship. For the sake of the readers, whereabouts in the country are you? I find that the West and East Coasts tend have the more progressive areas.

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