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The Karazin Family Vacation: Like Band Camp Without the Instruments.

June 2, 2010

Well, sheesh.  It’s June already, and I only have 25 more days until the semi-annual Karazin Family Vacation-slash-Reunion.  Every few years Mamma and Poppa Karazin foot the bill for the whole family to meet up and try to kill bond with each other.  Last time we went on such a mega-vacation, it was to Club Med in Ixtapa, Mexico.  Acres and acres of beautiful palm trees, white sand beaches and Mexican sunsets, and I didn’t enjoy one damn bit of it.  That’s because at nine weeks pregnant with my son, I was making out pretty heavily with the nearest toilet.   Not only did I have the run-of-the-mill morning, noon, and night sickness–that I could have dealt with.  But I committed the First Deadly Sin of the Mexican gods: I ate the lettuce.  Raw.  I stayed away from the water, because, duh! everyone knows you don’t drink the water in Mexico.  And here I was, trying to be all healthy and eat salad instead of French fries, and didn’t stop one second to think that the lettuce is watered–WITH MEXICAN WATER.  I think they call it Montezuma’s Revenge, and whoever that guy is, he’s getting back at of all of those American gringos (and in my case, negroes) who stole California, Texas and New Mexico.  So, while everybody partied on bottomless margaritas, I had the most hideous excreta coming out both ends, simultaneously.

So this time I was excited when I learned that another trip was coming because my husband had a vasectomy.  My sister-in-law and I were lobbying for a cruise to some beautiful Third World Country that was not Mexico, because with all that’s going on down there, no one is too keen on getting in the middle of a drug war whilst shopping for cheap pottery.  Plus, how Montezuma dogged me out and got me all twisted up–it’s still much too raw.  Like the lettuce.

Alas, the cruise was not to be.  My husband’s brother and sister, all their kids, all our kids, and his parents are set to meet at a–what can I call it–oh yes!  A sleep-away camp, complete with camp leaders forcing families to swim together, sing by the camp fire, make up silly skits all without serving one drop of booze.  But Matriarch and Patriarch Karazin have that covered and will be smuggling crates of wine in all varietals, and plenty of Vodka (or is it Vermouth?) for my mother-in-law’s favorite Manhattans.  Then it’s good times for sure.

In addition to packing 3,000 pounds of luggage for a family of six, there are a few essentials that must be taken care of before we leave.  Namely, me and my oldest daughter (made by me and Baby Daddy) will have to get our hair braided.  My husband, sweet man that he is, learned long ago that me and my daughter’s hair had to have special treatment, even if it meant we had to forgo one (or two) weeks of our grocery budget to do it.  I was not going to Camp-Whatever-the-Heck-it’s-Called in upstate New York, thick with humidity, with both me and my oldest looking like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons.

What my hair looks like after swimming

21 Comments leave one →
  1. June 2, 2010 3:23 am

    Make sure you have a tent that you can stand up and walk around in. Trust me . . . it ain’t fun crawling out of a small tent. And . . . make sure the bathroom facilities are very, very close by! We were at the far end of the camping site, and the porta potties were like 1 – 2 minute walk away. We were very envious of people with RVs at the camp ground. Next time we go camping we’ll be renting an RV.

    • randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
      June 2, 2010 7:56 am

      Well, fortunately for us, we will have cabins–which I think have indoor plumbing. That aside, I LOVE RV camping. My family borrowed an RV from a family friend one year to go on a trip to Texas to visit my mom’s people. We were so glad about it too-we went to one relative’s house whose house was overrun with roaches, and me and my brother were SO glad we had that RV to hide in!

  2. June 2, 2010 8:18 am

    LMAO.. Sideshow Bob looks a hot mess and you know your hair don’t look like that girl.. lol.. Have a great vakay!

  3. June 2, 2010 9:55 am


  4. June 2, 2010 9:57 am

    It looks like you have the perfect sensibility to write about this subject. Clear-eyed but with a generous sense of humor. Many other writers are … well … angry, or at least exasperated. I don’t begrudge them that, but as authentic as that is, it doesn’t get us very far.

    You are making me miss Pasadena.

    • randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
      June 2, 2010 11:45 am

      LOL at that Pasadena remark! And thanks for the kudos!

  5. Sharon permalink
    June 2, 2010 6:36 pm

    ha ha ha that is bloody funny!! lol
    Sorry you had such a rough time in Mexico though
    At least you have cabins

  6. June 2, 2010 10:36 pm

    I overshot in my comment about angry exasperated writers. They are necessary, and have brought us far. I am just glad that, in addition to their pushing, there is the pull of writers like you. Anger can paralyze, but anger with hope can be very motivating.

    • randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
      June 2, 2010 11:22 pm

      Uh oh! Did you get spanked? Keep the opinions coming. They’re quite thought-inspiring.

  7. June 3, 2010 1:15 am

    Spanked? Naw, I self-corrected, but blow-back might have come soon, lol.

    • randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
      June 3, 2010 2:35 am

      Smart man!

  8. June 3, 2010 8:27 am

    My advice for the hair thing is to wear braids or find yourself a good quality weave (Indian virgin hair) to protect your own. After the swimming season is over, you can fry, dye, and lay it to the side all you want. Usually I forego the perm during the summer for this reason. Braids FTW!

    • randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
      June 3, 2010 8:32 am

      Yes, I do believe I will be rocking braids for quite some time in the future, because with all this traveling and writing I’ve got to do, I’ll be lucky if I can catch a shower everyday!

  9. lafemmenoir permalink
    June 3, 2010 5:47 pm

    are you naptural? If so, get some kinky-curly products from Whole Foods. It works wonders for me. By the way, I hope you enjoy your trip.

    • randomthoughtsfromcali permalink*
      June 3, 2010 5:53 pm

      yessiree–I’ve got the both the custard and the detangler. I just don’t want to have to “do” it very time I get me hair wet, you know? I use KK for my twist outs and wash and go’s and I love it.

  10. nikki7 permalink
    June 4, 2010 10:28 am

    LOL!! Girl, you are too funny!

  11. June 4, 2010 12:50 pm

    LOL great post. Sorry you didn’t enjoy yourself. This sort of reminds me of the time I spent our family vacay in Quebec but had a horrible time because I caught the chicken pox…at 18!

  12. Sharon permalink
    June 4, 2010 4:10 pm

    Oh can someone tell me about the kinky curly products?

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